First, let’s define the box. The “box” goes by many names: our conditioning, our programming, the ‘mind’, our ego identification, our shadow, our darkness, our limiting beliefs, our muscle/tendon calcification, our reactions, our painful memories, our ‘asleep’ parts, our overstimulated nervous system, our trauma, our hurt, our resistance – you get the point. It’s that structure we’ve naively assembled in order to keep us safe but is no longer helpful or relevant. This structure is usually created by subtle or overt abuse that we adopted as children.
So what’s outside the box? This is what we call: Expansion, Activation, Centeredness, Enlightenment, Self-Love, Self-Trust, oneness (inner child merged with inner parent), non-duality, creative orientation, our gifts, our superpowers, our purpose, our mission, our sacred masculine/feminine, our deep truth.
Now that we’ve defined the box and room for growth – we just need to create a doorway. The box is designed to keep us safe. In many ways, due to a lack of self-trust (whether conscious or unconscious), it’s designed to keep us safe from ourselves. So, we need to find a way to work with our egos as a team. It’s not our job to destroy them, we are working to empower them and acknowledge them (which ultimately leads to their dissolving but quite honestly that’s none of our business).
Our egos represents all of our internal and external abusers/fears. Our ego (masculine) is trying to maintain order, because it doesn’t trust our inner chaotic child (feminine). When we are able to bring love to the abuser, we are bringing love to ourselves. We typically cower from and resent the ego as well as our external abusers for holding us hostage. The most effective way of reconnecting with our spring of creativity is by making a commitment to honor that which we tend to resent.
So how do we witness ourselves cowering, and how do we witness the abuser? Give the ego a face. Or, at the very least, a mouth and ears. A mouth lets it have a voice, and ears let it hear. Yes, we are communicating with an entirely imagined being, and yet this is our responsibility because we created this being in the first place, as children. It’s going to sound ridiculous because rarely does anybody make an effort to speak to their own feelings.
The ego loves to hide in the shadows in order to make itself invisible. It’s scared of getting a taste of its own medicine – it thinks we will want to abuse it the same way it’s used to abusing us. Therefore, it tends to be very manipulative by saying things like “If you look at me, you are making yourself the enemy. If you look at me, you are starting a battle that you don’t know how to finish. The trick is, it’s all talk. On the other side of the box awaits your beautiful true essence. It’s simply a lie. We’ve fooled ourselves and it’s time to sit down and reconnect with who we actually are.
So let’s give the walls ears and listen. We can literally ask the ego what it needs, and it will hear us. For example – “Guilt, what do you want?”. Guilt might say “I want to protect other people”. Great! We can do this without hurting ourselves. You see, we’re on the same side. We let guilt listen by perhaps imagining a situation in which we apologize for some way in which we’ve hurt someone. We can even imagine the apology – it doesn’t really make a difference in our minds (unless we haven’t yet learned to visualize). Acknowledging others is truly medicine for ourselves. Next, we might ask “Anger, what do you need?”. Anger might say – “I want to punish you for making mistakes so you won’t make them anymore”. I see, anger – thank you for sharing. I see that you really want to create a better world. Would you be willing to work together on doing this? Anger may respond: “Sure, but I’m still skeptical”. We know that at a higher frequency anger morphs into passion, so all we really need at this point is to bring some form of value to our negotiation with anger – almost like a business transaction! “Anger, I see your energy is very valuable. I am delighted by your passion for creating a better world. Would you be willing to put this energy into helping me exercise my body to become stronger? Or maybe we could record a song together? Or maybe we could go do some hard labor? Or maybe we could make a beautifully passionate painting?
We are literally speaking to our emotions as if they are children in pain. We are negotiating with them in order to come to a compromise that will make it a win/win for everyone. This brings us a deeper awareness of the possibilities that lie outside the box, and gives us much deeper potential for creative answers to the world’s questions. It’s time to step up to the plate, a glorious future outside the box awaits!